For me, I don't really care, as long as the woman gets a choice. I think the idea of ownership that we see play out in Taming of the Shrew and in real life comes from women not having a choice, of being forced to submit to a man. If the question were whether or not a woman should be forced to take her husband's last name, I would say "of course not!" But in the past few decades especially, a lot of American women (including my mother) have chosen not to take their husband's names. In the last few decades, a lot of women have chosen to take their husband's last name. A lot of husbands have chosen to take their wife's last name. There's hyphenation. It's all good, in my opinion, as long as everybody gets a choice and is happy with what they've chosen.
However, all that said, it's important to recognize that the practice of a woman taking on her husband's last name came from a culture of ownership and lack of choice. We have the privilege now of consideration. It does make one think about the oppression that women went through and continue to go through. Even something as simple as a name has oodles of controversy surrounding it. The common assumption is that in heterosexual couples, the woman takes on the husband's last name. Even still, we are controlled by the history behind this issue.
So while I don't think that it's healthy to say that a woman has to do one or the other, I also don't think, like with anything, it's healthy to assume. Some women want to change their names. Some women don't. Some women like hyphenation. So instead of saying "Oh, hello, Mrs.__________", perhaps, next time, you ask what she would prefer to be called. Give her the choice.
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